we need an antagonist if we want to be a part of writing an epic story!
here is the definition of antagonist is you need it:)
a person who actively opposes or is hostile to someone or something; an adversary.
"he turned to confront his antagonist"
1. One who opposes and contends against another; an adversary.
2. The principal character in opposition to the protagonist or hero of a narrative or drama.
you ask me how God began speaking into my dream...
for me: it was kinda like this -
the pull of that "something more" that i wanted my whole life..you know the one you have had since you can remember? that one would come knocking and i would answer and it and i would talk for hours about what were going to do and then another knock would always come..call it freddy kruger is that helps but it always won
i would bury the something more..the gift God gave me and expose the fear..the freddy kruger fear as i call it
nothing much was happening according to my years of journals .. or so it seemed to me
no real growth...as i saw it at the time ( looking back NOW...so NOT true ) i knew a lot in my head though and it took some hard knocks for me to begin to connect that the head knowledge had to connect to the heart to grow me
i had to practice exposing the gifts and burying the fears in the arena called "real life".
i had a habit of asking questions to the questions.. is this something i am supposed to do was one of my favorites! ha!
funny thing is deep down i always knew the answer but time after time
these questions would send me retreating into old patterns not because they are easy...but because they were safe and predictable while very destructive i knew them like the back of my hand. same old same old...
i shut down and the walls come up and there i knees to chest sit watching and waiting
the first "real" memory i have of God speaking into my dreams began something like this...
He would ask me to step out from behind those walls of protection and be brave. to "feel" .. key word.. feel the fear and do it anyway
at that time brave and courageous were not fad words running rampant in blogland or in self help books...at least not the ones i was reading
but funny things is
these words didn't escape me in the bible though. they have run rampant there for 2000+ years
God knows we are made of molecules of dust and with one hot breath we could be blown to smithereens
sitting at that table..on that day..i did feel the fear and in my own way took a few small baby steps and did it anyway
only to be turned down..not once but twice!
defeat and depression soon had their arms around me consoling me. hopelessness was not far behind
don't you just HATE that tape? it is SO NOT TRUE!! it is a big FAT LIE!!
to feel fear only to be healed?
i am asking if my antagonist is kinda like paul's thorn? is this what is driving me to choose? cause if i have been praying for years for healing..and i have...to be made whole..to really LIVE..to be free then how else could that happen?
think about it! without an antagonist i might be living out of my church mind..stuck in legalism and works and good-enoughs and judgments--you know the laundry list
even as i type this thanksgiving is dawning deep in my spirit..thank you jesus you answered my prayer from the last few days!
just from writing this out
i know i am to be thankful..i WANT to be faithful but sometimes i get focused on the antagonist only and i get off the path
all the hard-places dissappointments heartbreaks devastation childhood trauma
sunday is usually grilling day around here and yesterday was no different only this day grace wanted to watch harry potter i reluctantly agreed and i am glad i did
at the end when voldemort--harry's greatest antagonist--was finally dead...harry had FINALLY won i saw those of us with lives riddled with struggle...the underdogs...uniting...why?
because in some way we too...are all living an the epic harry potter story and we want to win in the end too!! i do!! don't you?
even harry...when caught between life and death asked the professor who he trusted professor what do i do???
and the professor disappeared with no response
you see...harry had a choice and so do we...God always gives choice and what did harry choose?
harry chose to rise ...
oh friend...hang in there hang with me would you? keep our eyes only on you abba not on anyone else's journey..only ours
and maybe you can give us new eyes to see our antagonists as a gift
and i pray we be the hearts you are searching for