my fart bag..

in the next week or so i will work on posting regularly again.  we have new projects in the works and really just some things God has laid on my heart but it just hasn't been the right time... obviously duh!!  gotta get well first AND  right now we are fervently working on orders but i have had THE most outpouring of love from you all..my friends.  you have just blown me away with your upliting..your prayers.  i couldn't make it without you.  to answer some of your questions and keep you in he loop i am trying to give you tidbits in all areas of my life right now.

::family news::

my little sister is having her first baby!!  i can't tell you how excited i am!  she took the role of momma to THE sweetest little boys ever when she married..i swear..tthe first real man i have ever met.  their journey to getting pregnant was rough so they wanted to wait until she was far enough along to tell the boys and here is a peek through pictures from the mother's day surprise.  isn't she glowing?  you can plan on baby posts...:)

babybaberfb1

babybaberfb2

nikki made the boys shirts that they opened

babybaberfb4

babybaberfb6

::my heart::

my relationship with Jesus did a 360 when i left the church some years back. (someday i will tell you the story)  it has only been recently that i can put words to the reality that i have been living in the unearned love of God.  i am learning to live each day FREE and to the FULL.  

lay down your load and build your life on God's love.  we don't have to earn this love;  neither do we have to support it.  it is a FREE gift.  Jesus calls out: " come to Me , all you who are weary and fine life burdensome, and i will refresh you  -- brennen manning

when you don't have an other...a husband, a trusted friend to confide in what do you do?  even with those i often find myself knowing even they are not enough.  it has taken me years to understand this but now i know - people, while needful here on earth can never fill that hole for real love.  

i have been peeling back layer after layer of Gods love...of letting Him love me.  

letting Him love me...love YOU

really let that sink in...it in no longer about me earning it, being good enough, of being good, it is not about how many times we go to church, do the right things, how much we give, how many times we pray, how many studies we do--my life has changed...my heart has been changed--

i am little by little learning to grow in this free love that is so outrageous--if it means to go through dark valley's to be able to really know the God of the Bible through Jesus i would do it all over again!

oh friends..to KNOW Him..not with our heads but with our hearts..to be vulnerable .to trust enough to bare your soul..to be naked before the One who sees..to let yourself be loved..as you are..IMAGINE!

brennen mannings says it perfectly for me

it is always true to some extent that we make our images of God.  it is even truer that our image of God makes us. eventually we become like the God we image.  one of the most beautiful fruits of knowing the God of Jesus is a compassionate attitude toward ourselves.  faith in the God of Jesus nurtures free, confident people.  the God of love fosters a loving people.  Jesus' experiences of God made Him the person He was.  it freed Him from all self concern and enabled Him to relate to people with warmth, ease, sympathy and liberating love.   this is why the bible attaches such importance to knowing God.  healing our image of God heals our image of ourselves.

i don't know about you girls but i want to be this kind of person!

this...letting God love me..knowing that i am worthy of that love..AS IS..keeps me going in the darkest times.  in this leg of my journey His grace never quits..never runs out.  it is always available to me 24/7

::shop news::

in a little under 2 weeks we will be caught up!  we are shpping out 20 signs later this afternoon. i cannot tell you how much weight will then be lifted.  it is a stretch to enjoy each day with this hanging over my heart.  i feel as if i let so many people down.  i know it wasn't intentional but still...

we deactivated the etsy moxie shop for a week or two just to catch up. and have been doing some INSTATRAM sales on shirts nikki is designing.  currently we are doing reserved purchases.  you leave your email and we invoice you through paypal.  turnaround is about a week.  so if you see something you life just let us know in the comments or on IG and we will do our best to accommodate you until we open our shop again.

 

::new NEWS::

my grand babies are moving to florida in 3 weeks!  THREE weeks. you remember they have been staying with me right?  i am so sad

so how am i coping you ask?

by taking a vacation down there in august..thats how! already planning it

they are in gulf air...on mexico beach?? do any of you live close?  we could catch up while i'm there:)

::a little fun::

nik chel grace & me took the babies to the fair friday night it was a fun time...i got to do some walking which did me in for the rest of the night but it was good.  i enjoyed them.

 

::fart bag::

that is what karalina calls it.  when i first came home my stoma was a little noisy. who knew a stoma farted?  i didn't. it no longer makes sounds like that now.  so karalina thought it only fitting to name the bag. it made us all laugh

kinda some ugh news about a week ago my rectum i can't stand that name started aching..and aching bad.  it still has colitis and it is letting me know. so off to pain mgt. and they changed some meds up hoping that i can get pain under control so i can just heal before the next surgery.  if this wasn't happening i would feel SO much better.  pray for me to have more control over my emotions..i am struggling with being depressed about my bum and i want to focus more on the positives. i kinda thought it would all be better...

 ::prayer requests::

the dr. can find just the right meds that get pain under control so i can just live a bit before the next surgery we have a tough week coming up 18-23.  pray i am a fortress and nothing can get to me and the children.  that we are able to take what is destructive and turn it into positives.  we have a host of army angels watching over us.. that we remember that.

here's to unwavering trust and the best friends a girl will ever need..love you all!

xotiff