you belong here...and a winner

if homes reflect the heart of the person living there ... room after rooms of clutter no real sense of order and balance not much having a "real" place

and the home doesn't belong to me in 44 years i have never owned my own home.  ever

not a big deal really but it is to me growing up we never really had a home= a safe haven..a place to just BE.  and life was always full of drama and chaos so i thought that was normal.  that i was like my family.  so it was only natural when i married at 16 that i did a lot of the same things.

fast forward.  i am being awakened.  slowly as if in a long dream.

while my house is a mirror of my heart and my story is not a picture perfect creative space like so much we see on pinterest i have been given the gift of opening my heart to the only ONE who longs to make me whole who can take glass broken into a million tiny pieces and put it back together.  piece by piece

in my little reprieve the last year in a half i know there is "stuff" that i need to allow God to take and touch and they are some raw places.. there is so much more to re-boot but we have started.  with baby steps.  and that is so often all each of us can do.  one step

so this morning after seeing safe haven with the girls last night and while her story is somewhat different than mine there again i was caught looking in a mirror.  staying in something where the very life is sucked out of you you can make excuses. defend. play the part to a t. you stay even though you silently scream to be out but it is a scary thing to leave something that is known for the unknown again God is taking my hand and we are taking one step at a time.  and it doesn't look like what i thought it would look like or what someone else's story may look like either.  it is our story.  His and mine.  and i am ok with that.

He is leading me to my place of belonging.  i can feel it deep in my bones.  i always knew He would.  His love never quits on me He is showing me He is trustworthy.  He is my safe haven.  He has a place for me on up ahead.  not that i don't belong in the here and now

but my whole being sobs with the thought to finally...one day...be free.  being free means many things to many people.  i know what it will mean to me. to be where i belong.  there has been an awakening in my soul this last year and a half with creating.  i am uncovering a gift....and i can't wait to take the next step.

so while my creative space doesn't look like this...yet it is being birthed in my heart as we speak and will...one day reflect my true identity in Christ an exquisitely beautiful messy heart...a wounded warrior who can feel for others with compassion because i too.. have been there.

and the winner of our ridiculously amazefest GIVEaway is my friend Sasha! can you believe it girl??? email me will ya?....wink and we will discuss

if you are in the midst of your journey and you can't see the next step...know know know that nothing is impossible with God and while i know it is so hard to trust Him when things have gone wrong 57 times...it is that 58th time that will blow your mind cause one thing i have learned...well kinda...:) is that so often other people and places have to be in place for the right time for everything to go down.  God is never late....i love you all with a deep love.  thank you for loving on me.

xotiff

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