this old house ( the beginning)

I'm sitting cross legged in my blue chair eating Cambell's tomato soup with crushed Ritz crackers piled on top.

I wanted to take a short break from all of the parties to tell you a bit about the house we just moved into and what will be a big portion on my plate now.  Not to mention I've had to use the plunger on the toilet it's an old toilet..not the other .. twice in a week ( whince...should I say that?) and still have a clogged pea trap under the bathroom sink to fix ( which happened to be coconut oil that hardened...eeewwww! ) Grace!

and I tried to light my first pilot light on the water heater and my heart sank.  no flame. chin up girlie..chin up:)

I guess that all comes along with an old house.

Can you see the potential?  I can

{ maybe a color palette like this? } via Between Naps on the Porch  or this

Painted shutters and door..maybe whitewash the brick.  Landscaping and a new portico...oh I could go on and on in my dreaming.

I love farmhouse..barn'ish'..a touch of industrial..and country..and..sigh

I kinda like to think this is how God views us.  He sees the potential.  I found myself sitting in front of Him hopeless..worn out..at the end and pretty gosh darn broken.  Much like my old house.

The good news is that my foundation is good.  Just like this old house.  And when the foundation is good and you use quality building materials the sky is the limit right?

This house was my husbands mom's for the last 30 years.  She has purchased property in the country and moved.  The house was on the market and went all the way and fell through at the last moment.   I've wanted this house since I can remember.  You can read here and here a little background to save me some typing:) on our marriage.  This house represents family  faithfulness  belonging.

When I moved to another house here I had NO idea what God was going to do.  All I knew was that I wanted to go where God has opened a door.

 BUT GOD

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had other plans.  There was a reason this old house fell through and that he got a job in another state.  God has a plan.  I don't know what it is or even want to understand it anymore.  I just want to LIVE it.  I want to stop wallowing in my pain.  I surely became one with the mud where my blog became my emptying place.  And that is ok.  I needed it.

 I have most assuredly walked into a land filled with giants but I am training my mind to respond differently.  God is helping me respond with trust, faith and gratitude.

AND

I am learning to take courage when I'm afraid and do really hard things.  Things 6 months ago I couldn't have done.  I will fight for my heart and the hearts of my children.  I don't understand why God has things the way they are - all I know is - I am grateful for a check that I know isn't stolen and as of right now, it is every week.  I am grateful that I can control it for the first time.  I am grateful for budgets.  I am grateful for store sales.  I am grateful for friends who support and love me and do not judege me and PRAY PRAY for me.  I am grateful for kids who put up with my hysterical moments and wonder if their momma has finally lost her marbles.  I don't think they would blame me if I did;)

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There is lots more but I've kept you long enough.  I am posting the most yummiest cookie recipe I've ever made on Tuesday and will be linking up to the Holiday Home Linky Party with Sarah for Christmas Trees! and giving you more information on the Heirloom Christmas Stockings.  I am monogramming the grandbabies:)

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I love each of you and forgive me if I've worn you out over the last year with my pain.  Things are going to be very busy around here from now on.   Yes!  Finally, I can see a teensy bit of the vision.

what I know in my heart + stepping out in trust..of my comfort zone and following God = LIVING

I gotta put the two together.  I feel if my blog is just all about my heart then I am treading.  I've done that for the last 12 years.  I am ready to start SWIMMING for goodness sake!

I BELIEVE God can take broken things and rebuild something new

just like this old house...

do you?

xo~tiff