what do you do with the worry of *getting older*

While on the treadmill the other day..huffing & puffing..asking myself why I am doing this..since turning 40 I've had to work at it with regular exercise & watching what I eat.  My skin is looser from having 5 babies, wrinkles are surfacing, aches & pains where there weren't any just 10 years ago, night sweats replace 'late nights' and looking at myself naked...let's face it.  It just ain't the same!  We all do it.  Stand in front of the mirror and do a once over and more often than not bemoan the way we look.  Am I right?

I think we all struggle with this in some way whether we are skinny or over weight?  It is a heart issue.

As we age we might worry a wee bit more about whether or not we're desirable.  And what in the world does that mean today anyway?

Guess it depends by who's standard we hold ourselves up to?   Does my husband still find my lines, extra 10 lbs, sagging skin and boobs still desirable , or if we were to begin dating again.. at my age.. do men really look at a woman's heart containing her values, morals, goals, dreams & passions or do they look

::

at only what the naked eye can see?  and what does that mean to me?  to us as women?

The divorce rate and adultery rates tell me that it is more than just what one looks like right?

for me, as a woman of faith, the bible tells me ( my paraphrase )

don't just pay attention to what you look like on the outside
make  yourself attractive by the good things you do..beauty fades but the inner woman - she
grows more and more beautiful.  The heart overflows through the eyes...the ugly & pretty

the TV..magazines..Internet.. pummels us with negative marketing that sex appeal is what is desirable.  It seeks to make us buy into what we are supposed to think { who are we to allow media to think for us? } we are to look/be like...instead of *who* we need to be becoming.  It works doesn't it?

your not skinny enough instead of focusing on fitness for your body type
your boobs aren't the right shape, neither is your butt
your hair is not the right color or length
you don't wear the right clothes..you don't smell right and you don't chew the
right gum to make your teeth white enough..you get the idea:)

It is an internal tug of war for sure.  Each one of us have to fight not to settle for something that fades.

I'm just curious ...
have you settled and saying...this is as good as it gets..oh well, why not?
or
are you fighting to hold onto something that is slipping away..changing.  Maybe you've gone to extremes and would
like to feel more balanced in your approach to aging.
or
how do you handle these thoughts when they enter your mind?
 

more to come ...

 

~xo - tgbg

28.   made two phone calls