Day 70 of 72 : erupting in anger

if I were able to take the wings of the dawn and cover my head I would.  I'm flailing in the dark.  I erupted in anger last night feeling so out of control and exhausted to the bone, watching my children struggle with things adults should be worrying about, having to have this house all packed and out by the weekend, and no dinner.  It all sent me to grasping for other things and not God.

This morning with a few hours of sleep under my belt I feel a little refreshed.  One of my sweetest friends Linsey @ LLH has introduced me to Jesus Calling...I am raptured by this little devotional book.  You can buy a copy for yourself here.

It is just what my heart needed at this juncture.  Walking out of Streams in the Desert to Jesus Calling.  This morning after everyone was out the door.  I sat down on the couch, opened Jesus Calling and my Bible and looked up and one of the bar stools was there and I saw the picture He wanted me to see.  Be with me daughter.  I just want to help you. Just be with Me.  And I did.  He was there.  Right there.  So I wept like a big baby.  Talking and listening to Him tenderly comfort me.  He was showing me that I was looking to man to try and meet the fear of the unknown.  Even in the midst of financial crisis and there seems to be no way out and it is all going to crash down around you ... this life as you have known it.  We can be courageous but life still happens.  I have to walk through it.

 

So we talked and talked.  I am seeing Zephaniah 3:17 in a new way this morning.  I've always loved the picture of Him singing over me but today He showed me that His love is quiet.  Quiet - now what does that mean?  I've not known the tender love of a man.  In a husband or an earthly father.  I'm going to cry typing this but He is showing me what quiet love is.  And wouldn't you know that it is right in the middle of a storm?  .. ha! 

I will close with this for today for I have much to do..He says to me

Tiffini - this is what we've been traveling for all these years.  All of that hurt..it will be for your good and My glory.  This is what you've been waiting for.  What?  You didn't picture it this way?  He smiles..oh daughter..I love you so.  Now, I would love to take all your worries today so you can do the next thing in peace and joy.  You can take it from me at anytime.  I won't stop you but for your good I hope you choose to let Me keep it today.  It is to much for you to carry.  He said more that I am digesting.  I hope you know His quiet love today.  I have my Bible opened it the kitchen where I am doing work and will take it with me today.  When I want to take it all back I will read the words of this morning when I encountered God this morning.
 
How do you experience God's love?

all my love~tgbg