Day 66 of 72 : what to do when fear bullies you

  while the day is winding down..and so am I.  Down I mean.  So down that my physical body is done for the day.  I've not felt well.  I think the things that I know I can't control and by God's grace I haven't really tried.  But I know all of the shoes that could drop at anytime and I am allowing them to overwhelm me a bit.

french-knot:</p>
<p>via mixedtreats

I'm letting the worry of whether or not we get this house creep in.  This house that seems so perfect.  This is the fourth time I've tried.  I have prayed that I don't want to go anywhere where His presence doesn't come with us.  I mean it...really I do but I am battling fear right now.  Fear is a bully.   I am trying to start a business to have income for us, getting ready to pack for the third time, getting ready to move in the next two weeks whether to this house or a motel. The last thing I need is to get sick.  

So what am I going to do?

I took a nap.  Just let my body have its way.  I just stopped all I was doing.  I ate Chinese...not sure about that yet:)... and I thought about

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New Day Foster Home and all the children there..Karen and Hannah

Prayed about Kim..

Thought about Gabi and her battle with cancer..

I opened my computer and checked my email and a sweet sweet friend sent me an email that made me cry tears of knowing I'm not alone.  Thank you just seems so inadequate..

I just began thanking God for all of the blessings He has given me ... just today.  And there are alot of them!  I thanked Him that He is fighting for me even while I type.  He knows all secrets...He sees me.

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It hasn't taken away my feeling way to exhausted but it has lifted my spirits.  Enough that I wanted to write it out.  To just get up off the couch.  My house is a wreck and I have a million things to do this weekend but in light of all that -- I am stubbornly going to choose to claim victory!  The war is won.  If not this than another way but He is making a way for me and I am still choosing to write a new story.

 

what things are you being intentional about lately?
 

Praying a day of gratitude over each of you today.  Love you all...

 Take one step at a time, every step under Divine warrant and direction. Ever plan for yourself in simple dependence on God. It is nothing less than self-idolatry to conceive that we can carry on even the ordinary matters of the day without his counsel. He loves to be consulted. – Charles Bridge