after reading Donald Miller's book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years I can't stop asking myself this question
what if I spend the rest of my life writing my story with my life?
not with ink but with choices. Intentional choices. Here I said I was going back. I didn't have a clue what that really meant. I'm going back but for what?
The character in my current story is not the character I am. I know that deep down in my soul now. It is all coming together at a million miles an hour. So much so that my brain just might explode. Maybe Donald Miller is right. I don't have to be in that story anymore. I had given up on my story and by the grace of our Father He just wouldn't let me. OK - so it only took at least 10 years.
The funny thing is when our lives aren't going the way we would like or dream, we make choices that are not good..often rebellious. But what if we didn't change our stories in rebellion but instead in repentance? Turning from unhealthy to healthy?
And what if this character didn't trust in God substitutes like sex, drugs, material things, other people, careers, strengths or weaknesses...maybe Dr. Pepper;) jk..
but instead placed my trust in the living God? That is so profound let me say it again...trust in the living God! ( don't know about you but that is enough to sit on for days and chew ) This might be called radical storytelling! Have you read the Old Testament lately? I have been seeing so much about how God turns to those who turn to Him. The exploits He loves to do for those who seek Him. I'm starting to see my wounding from a different perspective and find myself thanking Him for it because I believe it is the very wounds that are going to make me into the character in the story that I am finding myself choosing lately.
I am seeing that things are not going to be perfect..not now. That is for heaven.
I will leave myself with this thought for today:
I do not need anyone else to make me ok. I really don't. That is an idol that I have written in my stories for many years. I have chosen to intentionally believe and live each day in the truth that God is the only One that I need to be ok. It is the way He created us to function. I am willing to live like a radical and trust Him on this. When I live this way I am healthy in this area. Make any sense at all?:) I am going to stick with this theme for a bit only because I am fleshing all of this out in everyday life. I promise I will get into more detail very soon.
I would be ever so grateful for prayer: I am waiting to hear on yet another house..I am working and praying for inspiration over an Etsy shop..we are packing the house up to be out around the first of September..we are separating and going to separate houses at the end of the month..or me to a homeless shelter...lol! if this house is not a go. Lots of major life changes happening but I am choosing daily to walk in simple trust no matter how crazy my feelings are going. I am trusting that He is fighting for me. A big ol hug to Lins for reminding me...
I want to hug each of you...so hear is a big hug from me for all your support, emails and prayers. The Lord willing I will be able to post soon about A Crushed Sparrow: believing in your wings very soon and share what I have been creating.