my secret name

from the youngest memory I have I've always known this isn't how it is supposed to be. I've fought against something I didn't understand ... until recently.  Like the pieces of a puzzle God has slowly shown me the border pieces and the last one fell into place yesterday. I see broken things.  I'm broken.  I believe God is calling modern day Daniel's, Joseph's and Nehemiah's...we are in a time when His word in Romans 13:11 is coming to life...now is the time for all to awaken from sleep.

Photo here

In 1996 God quickened Isaiah 58: 8-12 to life sitting in a room one day..for the first time when I was reading the Bible..the words jumped out at me.

I have been praying for a couple of days...God, what am I supposed to be doing? Do I keep blogging? I feel torn to LIVE.  Sitting in front of a computer all the time isn't living.  Texting, Facebooking, TV...technology...what I call living distracted is not working for me.  I must be missing something you want me to know.  Why are the doors closed for me a way out?  What am I supposed to do when a year from now the whole thing plays over AGAIN?  I'm losing my health, my mind and my children.  No answer.  Nothing new.  Fast forward to yesterday.

I was prompted to read Nehemiah.  End of story.  I knew...my secret name.  I'm a rebuilder.  He has given me a rebuilder's heart. I've always had a love for Nehemiah.  Now I know why.  I believe this will become a series for me... How to rebuild in scorched places..."seemingly"  dying places.  What it looks like in real life...this rebuilding.  It goes right along with Isaiah 58.

I'm ready to live life.  I'm ready to enter in to possess.  I don't know what it is going to look like but I am going to document it all here.  On my blog.  I can let the waves spill all over this place but I am choosing not to do that anymore.  Please pray for me if you think of it.  My body is literally falling apart right now.  I am so good at putting a smile on and sucking it up.  It is as natural as opening my eyes in the morning.  I have a Drs. appt on Monday and Tuesday.  Please pray for a direction and some answers.

I'm ready to begin filling in the inner part of the puzzle now. Has He shown you your secret name? ( a good book by the way)  I read it several months ago and prayed what mine was...I thought it might have been belong.  Was I wrong. I knew it when He showed it to me that this was it.

Rebuilder...I rather like it:)

Happy Friday and much XOXO,